Dearth. Deadly Dearth.

The reason there aren't any posts on this blog is that there aren't any reasons to post on this blog.

This has been another edition of "Atrios-like Blog Posts."

Or it would have been, if I hadn't had more to say on the subject. Or off the subject, as it were, since I have apparently decided to include an image from the Met, a large lady about whom I know absolutely nothing. I could blame my liberal arts education, I suppose, if I actually had one of those, but my Associate in Science degree probably doesn't qualify.

Raise your hand if you read random blogs. You do? Really? How... strange. Pursuing the random scribblings of one of the few billion other humanoids on this planet instead of doing something noble? Odd, I think. And the worst part is that the thought that there might be someone out there who will stumble across this peculiar bit of doggerel prevents me from saying what I really mean. There might be a trail. The cadence of the words might seem familiar to some. The cat might have distinctive markings.

What a shock it would be to go out in the morning for the paper and encounter someone who was in a position to respond to one of these thoughts! How utterly anti-Internet that would be! The beauty of the system is that the writer of these words might be a septuagenarian or a teenager in underwear; a housewife or a househusband; a murderer or a philanthropist. You never know.

But what you can assume is that the intent of this writer is the same as that of most writers. I aim to provoke you to thought, to anger, to laughter, to tears, to outrage or pity. It doesn't matter to me. These are the things, I'm told, that separate us from the beasts, so these are the things I seek.

Stop Reading This

I have to wonder sometimes about the kind of person who would stop by this blog, hidden in the backwater of the blogiverse, to see what I've written. It's not like I've encouraged anyone to stop by; there have been no new posts here in forever, and what posts there are seem to be nothing more than utter nonsense.

So please, I beg you: stop reading this!

That will be all.

Foo. And Bar.

Time just goes by way too quickly to keep up with the blogginess of the world. And that, in a nutshell, is why I haven't posted a thing in over a year. The passage of time. That and sheer boredom. So, having said that, I will post this bit of nothingness and look this blog over to see what I have wrought. Or writ, as the case may be.

Somebody Broke the Internets

The coffee is barely in the cup and already there's trouble. The Internets are down. Or maybe they're just where I left them, functioning as well as ever, and it's me that's down. Too much to process, far to early, but maybe I can reset the router. Reset the router and the cable modem, maybe. But now the firewall's screaming at me, the mute equivalent of the klaxons on the Enterprise and the computerized voice screaming "Intruder alert! Intruder alert!"

My firewall tells me that somebody is trying to hack my system. There's been a port scan, and I've only managed two sips of the coffee. And that's what this has been all about, this getting out of bed in the morning and doing dangerous things like boiling water and grinding beans. It's all about the coffee, but the computer refuses to cooperate and I can't be expected to settle down and enjoy my brown beverage while there's mayhem afoot, can I?

I unplug the cable modem yet again, but leave it off for a while. Maybe I'll get a different I.P. address and maybe the hackers will move on, or maybe their automated port scanners will determine that this prospect is a dud and it'll move on. Whatever I did, it worked, and I've been able to create this blog, a place where I can post those first thoughts of the morning, thoughts barely tainted by the exhuberance of caffeine. When the Internets allow me, that is. Fool that I was, to think that it was a dump truck!